Frequently Asked Questions

Sometimes we have to walk through the Door Of Inquiry to enter the Realm Of Certainty.

If the answer to your question cannot be found below, please contact me at minister@weddingminister-nh.com or by phone at (603) 924-9645.

Q. We've been living together. Would you require that we stop doing so before you would officate our wedding?

A. No! I would not require that you stop living together, nor would I require that you attend pre-marital counseling sessions or make you jump through other hoops to get married. My goal is to get you married not set up obstacles that will discourage you from making a public and legal statement of your commitment to each other.

Q. Will you do non-religious marriage ceremonies?

A. Yes, I will perform almost any civil ceremony you may choose. If you haven't already chosen one I have a wide selection from which you can choose or I would be happy to set an appointment with you with the goal of creating your own custom civil ceremony.

Q. Do you perform inter-faith religious ceremonies?

A. Yes, for all faiths that believe in the Judeo-Christian God of the Bible. You can provide your own written ceremony for me to use I would be happy to help you create your own.

Q. Will you officiate a wedding ceremony at any location?

A. Almost any location that is safe to get to and safe for the officiation of the marriage ceremony. I'm pretty open-minded about location, but you'll have to tell me what you have in mind so I can tell you at that time if I'm willing to officiate at that particular location. I can tell you this: I don't think I could do it while sky-diving or on a frozen lake with questionably thick ice.

Q. I live in Massachusetts, and you're a clergyman in New Hampshire. Can you legally officiate my wedding in my state?

A. This is not a barrier to my officiating your wedding. In order for me to legally officiate your marriage in The Commonwealth Of Massachusetts, I simply complete the "Out of State Non-Resident Clergy--Petition to Solemnize" form and send it to the Secretary of the Commonwealth, no more than six and no less than four weeks before your wedding. The Secretary of the Commonwealth then sends me an "Out of State Non-resident Clergy Soleminization Certificate" which bestows upon me the legal authority to officiate your marriage in the Commonwealth of Massachussets. After your marriage, I would send your marriage license, completed by me, along with the "Out of State Non-resident Clergy Soleminization Certificate" to the town clerk from whom you obtained your marriage license.

Q. How do I go about creating a custom ceremony?

A. Just do a web search on “Wedding Ceremonies”. There are lots of different sites that offers hundreds if not thousands of different ceremony ideas from which you can cut and paste or edit in your own wording. You can also phone (603) 924-9645 to schedule an appointment with me to help you create a custom ceremony that perfectly articulates the love you and your betrothed have for each other. Afterwards, I'll even email you a written copy of your custom ceremony!

Q. Do you officiate less conventional types of religious ceremonies , e.g. a handfasting marriage ceremony or a Celtic ceremony?

A. My ministry is to get men and women married, so, the answer is yes with one caveat: the words in the ceremony cannot invoke the name of any non-Biblical deity or spiritual entity, since my doing so would compromise my own religious convictions. If you're not certain about whether the ceremony you have in mind is one I can do, please email me a copy or phone me regarding it's content.

Q. What will you wear when you officiate my wedding?

A. For most weddings I will wear a dark suit with a white shirt and tie or a dark suit with a black shirt and clerical collar. I will ask you before your wedding which attire you prefer that I wear.

Q. Do I pay your fee before or after the ceremony?

A. It is customary to pay the officiant before the start of the ceremony. Many officiants require that the full amount due be paid a week or more before the wedding. I don't, but I do require the balance due before the start of the ceremony. By doing so, I won't be forced to interrupt your post-nuptial celebrating to pester you for payment. If there is a Best Man, he is the one usually designated to convey the final payment to the officiant before the start of the ceremony.

Q. Is it customary to tip the wedding minister?

A. It is not customary nor expected by me or most other officiants; however, if you feel that I or any other oifficiant exceeded your expectations in the service provided to you for your wedding and it would please you to express your appreciation for this excellence, it is a rare officiant who would turn down a tip.

Q. Do you require a deposit to be reserved for my wedding date?

A. I ask that you pay a $50.00 refundable deposit to reserve me for your wedding day and time. It's my assurance that you really plan on getting married at that time and your assurance that I will not accept an offer to officiate someone else's wedding at the day and time you've chosen.

Most short-notice elopement weddings do not require a deposit. It depends on how far in advance you want to schedule your elopement wedding. For elopement weddings, just phone or email me to ask if a deposit is required for the date you plan to get married. If it is, a $25.00 deposit will retain me for your elopement wedding date.

Q. Should I have a rehearsal before my wedding?

A. We will have already agreed to the content of your ceremony and will both have a copy of the ceremony long before your wedding day (elopment wedding excluded), so you will know what to expect. Also, I always endeaver to arrive a minimum of one hour before the wedding, so any potential issues can be recognized and addressed before the start of the wedding. This in conjunction with my experience officiating weddings, can allow you to forgoe a rehearsal with my presence and thus avoid the additional expense.

On the other hand, if your ceremony includes elements that entail you and the groom completing physical actions in conjunction with the officiant, e.g. a unity candle ceremony or a sand ceremony, I've found that most couples feel more confident and comfortable during their wedding if they've had a formal rehearsal with me before the wedding.

A hybrid method for dealing with this issue, one that entails no additional cost to you, is to stage a quick rehearsal an hour or half hour before the start of the wedding. The downside to this is the old tradition of the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding has to be sacrificed on the altar of expediency.

Q. What would you do to ensure my wedding is not delayed because an emergency situation precludes your officiating my wedding?

A. If the emergencey situation occured a day or more before the wedding, either I or my wife Denise acting on my behalf would contact you immediately to let you know that I would not be able to fullfill my committment.. Additionally, before contacting you regarding the emergency, I would diligently attempt to secure the services of another officiant, paid by me, to fullfill my comittment.

Another senario, un unlikely one, is one that would occur on my way to your wedding, i.e. an auto accident or breakdown or, God forbid, I get lost. For just such an unlikely situation, long before the wedding day, I always request a "Live Person" phone number from you. Assuming I'm not unconscious by reason of a horrific auto accident, I would then call that number to let you know that I'm being delayed. The nature of the delaying emergency would dictate the possible options for mitigating the situation. For instance, if the delay was by reason of an auto accident or breakdown, I would attempt to reach the wedding site by an alternative mode of transport, either provided by me or a volunteer at the wedding site.

Q. I've always wanted a church wedding, but neither I or my fiancé belong to a church, so how can I have my wedding in a church?

A. Before many mainstream churches will allow the use of their sanctuary for a wedding service, they require that you be a church member; however there are always exceptions to this rule. A few minutes spent phoning your church venue candidates may pleasantly surprise you with an exception to the "rule".

Most Quaker Friends and Unitarian Universalist churchs welcome the opportunity to rent their church buildings to non-members for weddings.

Q. Do you perform marriage or civil union ceremonies for homosexual couples?

A. My specialty and the focus of my ministry is the promotion of marriage as physiologically, biologically, historically and traditionally defined, i.e. between a man and a woman. Nevertheless, I would not discriminate against and in fact would rejoice in the desire of any homosexual wanting to adhere to the unadulterated defininition of marriage and thus be married to a member of the opposite sex.