Scroll down for old jokes....

A young doctor had just opened office and felt really excited. His secretary told him a man was here to see him. The young doctor told her to send him in. Pretending to be a busy doctor, he picked up the phone just as the man came in. "Yes, that's right. The fee is $200. Yes, I'll expect you ten past two. Alright. No later. I'm a very busy man."
He hung up and turned to the man waiting. "May I help you?" "No," said the man, "I just came in to install the phone."

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GETTING OLDER
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:
* I started out with nothing, I still have most of it.
* My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran.
* I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
* Funny, I don't remember being absentminded.
* If all is not lost, where is it?
* It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
* Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
* I wish the buck stopped here; I could use a few.
* Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
* It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. * The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
* If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
* When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
* It's not hard to meet expenses -- they're everywhere!

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Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke:
"Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."

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Top 10 Reasons To Go To Work Naked -
10. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
9. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
8. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
7. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
6. You want to see if it's like the dream.
5. So that-with a little help from Muzak-you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
4. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
3. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work stoned.
2. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
1. No one steals your chair.

Subject: New State Mottoes

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat
Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everthing
California: By 30 Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut: Just like Massachusetts only the Kennedy's don't own it yet
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000 Mosquitoes Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, & Very Little Else
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...
North Carolina: Tobacco is a vegetable
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Si, Hablo Ingles (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Yep
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers! Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
Wyoming: Where Men Are Men...And The Sheep Are Scared!

TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL IF MARTHA STEWART IS STALKING YOUR DOG

10. There's potpourri hanging from his/her collar.
9. The dog's nails have been cut with pinking shears.
8. The dog toys are all stored in McCoy crocks.
7. The pooper scooper has been decorated with raffia.
6. That telltale lemon slice in the new silver water bowl.
5. You find liver and whole wheat dog treats stamped out with copper cookie cutters and decorated with royal icing using a #2 rosette tip.
4. Dog hair has been collected and put into wire baskets for nesting material for the birds.
3. A seasonally appropriate grapevine wreath adorns the front of your dog's crate.
2. Your dog goes outside naked and comes in wearing a thyme colored virgin wool hand knitted sweater with matching boots.

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU KNOW THAT MARTHA STEWART IS STALKING YOUR DOG IS...
1. The dog droppings in your backyard have been sculpted into swans.

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Why can't a video crew put in light bulbs?
They keep breaking them with the hammer.

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Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? She missed.

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A teacher was trying a new exercise with her kindergarden class. She wanted to see if they could guess the flavor of a lifesaver she gave them. They did allright for the usuals, cherry, orange, lime ... but couldn't get honey so she gave them a little hint. "What your parents sometimes call each other!"
One little boy promptly spit his out on the ground and said in a loud voice, "Quick. Spit them out. They're assholes!!!!

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand
can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor
is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese.
So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what
does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship
by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee
be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot
as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have
you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly
or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn
up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the
human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out,
they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

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Two Vermonters are walking down different ends of the street towards each other, and one is caring a sack. When they meet, one says,
"Hey Darrell, What'cha got in the bag?"
"Just some chickens."
"If I guess how many are there, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses how many are there, I'll give you both of them."

"OK. Ummmm......Five?"
------------------------------

What's the most popular pickup line in New Hampshire?
Nice tooth!
--------------------------------

How do you know when you're staying in Massachusetts?
When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the front desk
says "go ahead"

Subject: Questions for the Ages
1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' opposite?
14. Why do 'overlook and 'oversee' mean opposite things?
15. Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set, when you only get one?

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent."

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Here's a teacher joke. The former kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. You need to use "big people words", she'd always remind them.
She asked Wendy what she had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana". "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!"
She then asked Joey what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." he said. "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN, use big people words!" She then asked Eddie what he had done.
"I read a book" he replied.
"That's wonderful" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
Eddie thought about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie The Shit."

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Wisdom for the Ages
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Ken Starr: I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he co-operates fully with our investigation.

Ross Perot: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Martin Luther King, Jr: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Colonel Sanders: I missed that one???????????????

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A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.

The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard.

"Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?"

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What do they call reruns of Hee Haw in West Virginia?
A documentary.
What do they call them in Kentucky?
Life styles of the rich and famous.
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How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum? Two.
One to eat, and one to watch out for traffic.
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Where was the toothbrush invented? In West Virginia.
If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.
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Arkansas State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" The driver says, " 'bout what"?
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There were four men out playing golf one day, the fourth man went into the clubhouse to take care of the greens fees. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free."
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multiline dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, fully loaded."
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "My son is a stockbroker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We are just talking about our sons. ³How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar. I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing all right. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio.²

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This is a "true" story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations!):
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How can I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No"
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer."

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A dog went into a bar and said, I need a drink!
The bartender said, down the hall, first door on the left!!
ba da bing!!!

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What's the best thing to come out of New York State?
I-90

--------------------------------

Did you hear that they raised the minimum drinking age in Vermont to 32?
Seems that they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

Top 25 Signs That You've Already Grown Up

1. Your potted plants stay alive.
2. Fooling around in a twin sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
10. You're the one calling the police because those darn kids next door don't know
how to turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
17. Dinner and a movie = The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
19. You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff,'
21. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
22. Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi & Ho-Ho's.
23. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
24. Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
25. You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.


A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and
over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows every
week and began to understand what the magician does in every trick.

Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show: Look, it's not
the same hat! Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table! Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades? The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was the captain's parrot after all.

One day the ship had an accident and sunk. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, with the parrot of course. They stared at each other
with hate, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, and another, and another.

After a week the parrot finally said: OK. I give up. What'd you do with the boat?

My Dog lost his nose.
How does it smell?
Awful!

Magical Frog.
A magical frog was hopping down a road in the middle of the forest. The interesting
thing about this frog is that he has never seen another animal in his entire life. Along
the same road a bear happens to be chasing a rabbit. The frog sees them and stops
them. He says "Since you are the first two animals I have ever seen I will grant you
each three wishes.". The bear being a typical male wishes for all of the other bears in
the forest to be female. The rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Now the bear is confused about this and wonders why the rabbit would waste his wish like that. The bear
becoming more greedy as I speak then wishes for all of the bears in the next forrest
to be female as well. The rabbit wishes for a supercharged motercycle. The bear says "why waste your wishes like that when you could wish for money and buy both of
those things and many more?". The bear finally wishes for all the bears in the world
to be female. With a grin on his face the rabbit revs his motercycle and says "I wish
the bear was gay." and then drove off.

A Moral Question.

I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but think it is fun to decide what one would do.
The situation: You are in the Midwest, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised, and infrastructure destroyed. Let's say you're a photographer out getting still photos for a news service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes.
If you were to stumble across Bill Clinton struggling to keep from being swept away in a raging river and you had a choice of rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer prize-winning photograph of the President being swept away...........

What shutter speed would you use?

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TOP 15 THINNEST BOOKS
15. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson
14. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman
13. THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore
12. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
11. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
10. DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
9. DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
8. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
7. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
6. GEORGE FOREMAN'S BIG BOOK OF BABY NAMES
5. TO ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres
4. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
3. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the EPA
2. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

And the World's Number One Shortest book...
1. THE BOOK OF VIRTUES - by Bill Clinton

Twisted RETN version of "Wizard of Oz" has the Tin Man and the Scarecrow trying to escape from Russian Space Station.

Golf Story.
Moses and Jesus are part of a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulls up to the tee and drives a long one. The ball is heading toward a pond. Quickly, Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball rolls to the other side, safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It lands right in the center of the pond and kind of hovers over the water. Jesus casually walks out on the water and chips the ball right up onto the green.

Then, the third guy gets up and sort of randomly whacks the ball. It heads out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounces off a truck and hits a nearby tree. From there, it bounces onto the roof of a shack close by and rolls down into the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond, the ball hits a little stone and bounces out over the water and onto a lily pad, where it comes quietly to rest. Suddenly, a very large bullfrog jumps on the lily pad and snatches the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swoops down, grabs the frog and flies away. As they pass over the green, the frog squeals with fright and drops the ball, which bounces right into the hole for a beautiful hole in one.

Moses leans over toward Jesus and whispers, "Do you think your Dad would teach me that shot?"